Chapter 4

 Abelia was only fourteen years old. It was an age when it was natural to be clingy.

But at that same age, Karina had already been overshadowed by Abelia’s frail health and Ferdinand’s constant injuries from playing outside.

At the sight of Abelia’s bright smile, an ugly mix of jealousy and resentment stirred inside her. The feelings she knew she should never allow herself to have.

“Sister, really? Can’t I go with you? Please?”

Nocturne, who had been silently watching, placed his hands on Abelia’s shoulders and gently pulled her away from Karina.

“Lia, if you say that, you’ll make me sad. I came here today on the Count’s orders to do your health check-up.”

“…But.”

Abelia looked at Karina with eyes full of lingering regret.

Karina pressed her lips together. In her current state of mind, she feared she might say something she shouldn’t.

“Besides, I heard that Lady Karina has something important and urgent to attend to. It would be difficult for her if you kept insisting.”

“…Oh, really?”

Abelia's gaze, filled with disappointment, landed on Karina.

Rather than speaking, Karina forced a smile, trying to reassure her.

“You’re so lucky, Sister… You always get to go outside.”

Abelia pouted, her voice laced with a hint of sulkiness as she lowered her head in disappointment.

A surge of emotion welled up inside Karina.

Abelia clung to her, and because of that, Karina was always bound to stay by her ailing sister’s side.

Because of that, she had never been able to make a single proper friend.

The number of tea parties she had hosted could be counted on one hand, and the number she had attended was just as few.

Her clenched fists trembled slightly.

There had been times when she, too, had wished to go out and spend time with friends.

There had been days when she had tried to focus on something else, just so she wouldn’t resent them.

“But in exchange, bring me something delicious from the market! Like skewers or juice. I've always wanted to try them!”

Abelia’s face lit up with playful excitement, her eyes sparkling as she lifted her head.

“Alright.”

Karina, eager to leave, furrowed her brows and answered curtly.

She gave a slight nod of gratitude to Nocturne, who was watching her with a strange expression, before turning away.

I feel like throwing up.

As she descended the stairs, her gaze darkened.

Guilt toward Abelia mixed with an unbearable jealousy.

She loathed herself. The feeling was sickening.

Her steps wavered, as if she might collapse at any moment.

***

“Karina, I’m sorry. Enrich fell off his horse, so I need to hurry to the academy. My daughter is kind, so you’ll be okay, right?”

“But today is Karina’s birthday…”

“He might be injured.”

“What about Father...?”

“Your father left for the academy ahead of me. Just tell the butler what you want for your birthday present. We’ll have the party another time, alright?”

Like an actress under a spotlight in the darkness, the Countess of Leopold and young Karina exchanged words.

It was the story of her fourth birthday.

In the end, the countess turned away and left the mansion before Karina could even answer. The little girl could only stare blankly at her mother’s departing figure.

In an instant, the scene shifted.

“Wow, so tiny! Are they my little brother and sister?”

“Yes, Karina. They’re your little brother and sister. You’re their big sister now, so you must take good care of them, alright?”

“Yes!”

The day her twin siblings were born, Karina was overjoyed.

The first time she ever saw tiny, adorable babies wriggling around, Karina was filled with happiness. The thought of them toddling after her with their little feet made her smile.

But the moment the twins were born, all attention turned to them—especially to Abelia, who was born frail and weak.

“No! That’s mine! Mother made it for me!” The tiny child, barely able to crawl, had surprisingly strong fingers. Karina stomped her feet in frustration as her precious teddy bear-shaped pouch was snatched away.

She only wanted to retrieve what was hers, but in the process, the twins tumbled over and burst into wails.

“Oh my goodness, Karina! What are you doing? You’re the older sister!”

“But... Ferdinand took my thing…”

“You have to give it up. You’re the big sister! Big sisters should act mature so their siblings can learn from them. Now, give it to Ferdinand. You’re a good girl, aren’t you, Karina?”

“...”

“Listen to me properly. Don’t throw a tantrum. Honestly, how old are you now? If you keep acting like this, I’ll tell your father, and he’ll punish you.”

“I don’t want to…”

“Stop acting like a child.”

In the end, the countess pried the wallet from Karina’s hands. Ferdinand, now holding it, giggled gleefully.

That wallet had been a precious gift. It was handmade by her mother on the lonely fourth birthday she had spent alone.

With tear filled eyes, Karina was forced to lend it to Ferdinand, who was still sniffling.

Years later, it returned to her, tattered and worn beyond recognition.

The scene shifted again.

"…Mother, my head feels dizzy."

"What? Oh dear, you have a fever. Abelia’s fever has also worsened, and the physician is checking on her now. I’ll ask him to see you afterward. Let’s get you to your room first. I’ll take you there."

"Okay."

Karina nestled her face against her mother’s shoulder, savoring the rare moment of warmth.

It was a rare occasion. Her mother looked at her directly, embracing her with concern. It was so warm, so comforting. But that happiness didn’t last long.

"My lady, the physician wishes to speak with you about Lady Abelia’s condition."

"There’s a problem? Alright, I’ll be there right away."

The countess gently set Karina down, her face apologetic.

"Karina, I’m sorry. I’ll call for a maid to take you to your room. Rest for now. Once things settle, I’ll come with the physician to check on you. You’re the older sister, so you can wait on your own, right?"

"…Can’t you take me yourself?"

"You’re healthy, aren’t you?"

At Karina’s whining, the Countess of Leopold sighed and said,

“Your sister is sicker, so as her older sister, can you give in just a little, Karina?”

Nothing was ever about Karina.

“My dear, you're such a good girl.”

Praise was only given when she endured and gave up what she wanted.

Because she was the older sister of a sickly sibling, because she was the older sister of a troublemaker, because she was the younger sister of a brother living far away.

Kindness was never hers to claim.

By the time she turned ten, Karina tried her best not to seek anyone’s attention anymore.

Instead, she picked up a different hobby.

Whenever she was alone, she drew. She traced lines, added colors, and completed vivid paintings. Only then did a sense of fulfillment stir from within.

Little did she know that this ability was a ‘miracle’.

Even more so, she was unaware that such power could drain away her own life force.

The House of Leopold had long been a family of warriors.

No one from their lineage had ever made a name for themselves in the arts, and naturally, cases of art disease were rare.

Had she been born into a family like the House of Atillen or the House of Karlos, both renowned for producing exceptional artists, she would have naturally undergone tests for such conditions.

But she wasn’t.

She was utterly astonished when the butterfly she had drawn with all her might came to life, flapping its wings as it emerged from the paper and fluttered around the room before vanishing.

Young Karina rushed to her parents.

“Mother! Father! I drew a picture, and…”

“Karina! Listen to this, Enrich won first place in the swordsmanship competition at the academy! It seems he might graduate early.”

“Oh… That’s amazing! As expected of my brother! But, Mother, I also drew a picture, and…”

She had wanted to say that a butterfly had flown out of her drawing, that it had been so miraculous, and that she wanted them to see it just once.

“A drawing? Ah, you did well.”

Their eyes barely lingered on the paper for more than a few seconds before moving away.

To them, the letter from her brother was far more important, something they read over and over again with pride.

“By the way, since Enrich is coming home this weekend, we’re thinking of hosting a small gathering. Lately, Abelia’s health has been quite good, so I’m happy.”

“...”

The words that had hovered on the tip of young Karina’s tongue crumbled into silence. She then turned away.

As time passed, she learned firsthand that no one would give her their attention.

And so, she immersed herself even deeper into her drawings.

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