Chapter 8

 "I’m really not in the mood to talk to anyone."  

She wanted to ignore him and just turn away.  

But Enrich was one of the few people who somewhat understood her, even if that wasn’t always enough.  

"Why? I’m tired and just want to rest."  

"I heard Father scolded you over something recently. Are you okay?"  

"Yeah, I already apologized for that."  

"Abelia’s been sick often, so Father must be worried. Try to understand."  

At his words, Karina frowned.  

She understood. She had always understood. That was why she had endured, apologized, and lowered her head.  

"I know."  

"You don’t look okay. Honestly, being told to just ‘understand’ can be frustrating. If you’re upset about your birthday, it’s okay to say so."  

"What’s the point? Even if I say something…"  

No one would listen.  

No matter how much she spoke, all she would get in return was scolding, another reminder that she was still immature. Just like always.  

She hadn’t actually heard those words today, but just imagining them made her uneasy. Because she knew reality wouldn’t be much different.  

"Don’t forget that Father and Mother love you."  

"They love you and our younger siblings. Not me, the one without good health or any remarkable talent."

"Karina."  

At Enrich's reprimanding tone, Karina pressed her fingers to her forehead.  

It was her last meal with them. She had thought about leaving with at least one good memory.  

Maybe, since they were family, she should at least say a proper goodbye.  

But that thought shattered into pieces.  

"Brother, I have a headache. Let’s talk later."  

"Come to the picnic with us."  

"No. I’m not going."  

Karina waved her hand dismissively at his suggestion.  

She lifted her head and looked at him. His golden hair cascaded like honey, and his blue eyes were clear and unwavering.  

Like a prince straight out of a fairytale, he was always gentle and composed.  

With his many talents, he was always at the center of high society.  

"Mother and Father love you too."  

"I’m their child, so I’m sure a part of them loves me in some way. I’m not childish enough to deny that."  

Karina nodded calmly, as if accepting a simple fact.

Her sharp gaze was unlike her usual self.  

As Enrich met Karina’s widened eyes, his brow furrowed slightly.  

"But the finger that hurts the most when bitten is Abelia, Ferdinand, and you, brother. Not me."  

"That’s not true."  

"No, it is. Just leave me alone. Let me be by myself."  

There was a time when Enrich’s words had comforted her. But not now.  Karina realized that she was standing on the edge of a cliff.  

“Karina…”  

"Please!"  

Karina shouted. Her throat hurt from the outburst, and she clutched at it, her face twisting in pain.  

"I said please."  

"Alright. Let’s talk next time."  

"Fine."  

Leaving Enrich behind, she headed straight for the second floor.  

It felt as if someone had struck the back of her head, as if punishing her for such a foolish thought.  

I thought I wouldn’t feel sad about this.

It might be her last birthday, after all. Why wasn’t there even a single word of apology? Why did they just assume she would agree?  Why does my final memory have to be so terrible?

Entering her room, she locked the door, kicked off her shoes, and buried her face into the blanket.

If I had become famous for my paintings, would I have been less lonely?

Would she have been less fixated on her family, less hurt by them, if she had made friends?  

Karina let out a hollow laugh.  

Of course not. How could she have made friends when she had barely attended any of the tea parties her peers held, always too busy taking care of Abelia?  

A lonely sob, unnoticed by anyone, continued through the night.  

Before she could get any proper sleep, the final dawn she would greet in the mansion arrived.  

After a brief moment of hesitation, she decided to leave behind nothing but a single line in a letter:  

[I am leaving on a journey.]

She had no desire to cause a commotion or make anyone think she had been kidnapped. She didn’t want the household to send out search parties. But at the same time, she didn’t want to explain herself in detail either.  

All those thoughts combined, and in the end, all she wrote was that one simple sentence.  

Karina put on the robe she had prepared in advance and slipped out of the mansion, timing her departure with the guards’ shift change.  

Thanks to her careful planning, no one saw her swollen, reddened eyes.  

She boarded the carriage she had arranged beforehand. Its destination was Ios, the imperial capital. From there, she would transfer to another carriage heading to Linloch, a village known as a transit hub.

Beyond that, she would have to rely on trade caravans or rent a small private carriage to reach the North.

She let out a long, trembling breath.  

The long journey had begun.

***

The physician’s medicine proved to be immensely helpful for her long journey.  

Just as he had warned, spending prolonged hours exposed to the cold wind and enduring the discomfort of the carriage ride gradually took a toll on Karina’s body.  

At least the medicine helped her sleep at night, reducing the time she spent feeling pain.  

Before she knew it, she had started taking it almost compulsively, as if addicted.  

However, no amount of medicine could help her eat properly.  

The only things she could consume were warm porridge or boiled vegetables, and as the journey went on, it was inevitable that she grew thinner.  

And yet, Karina was happy.  

Thinking that this might be the only journey of her life, or perhaps even her last, made every sight feel fresh and extraordinary.  

She often had to prepare meals with other travelers or take on small tasks for trade caravans in exchange for passage, but she was treated with respect.  

No one saw her as an insignificant noblewoman, a gloomy figure, or a dull person.  

She was simply Karina. That was how they treated her.  

She reached the end of her long journey on her own two feet.  

At last, she arrived at the duke’s estate.

***

"Fang, find an available room for her immediately. Also, have a maid prepare a bath for her."  

"Understood."  

"You should wash up first before we talk."  

Hearing Milian's curt tone, which practically dismissed her, Karina obediently nodded.  

If there was one thing that had changed over the past two months of travel, it was her personality.  

Karina, who had once been reserved and prone to enduring things in silence, had learned to voice her needs during her long journey.  

It hadn’t been through any special training.  

Trade caravans and carriages were busy places where people had little interest in others. If she didn’t speak up about what she needed or what troubled her, no one would listen.  

But when she did speak, they always turned their attention to her and heard her out.  

Through this, Karina had come to understand the importance of communication.  

"The only available room that's ready for use is right next to the Duke’s chamber. Would that be acceptable, Lady Leopold?"  

"Just Karina is fine. Any room is fine, but if possible, I’d prefer a separate annex away from here. Since I arrived unannounced, I assume His Grace wouldn't be pleased with the arrangement."  

She glanced around at the impeccably maintained estate, as strict and orderly as its owner.  

"I’d suggest you warm yourself first, then discuss the annex matter with the master afterward."  

"Alright."

She nodded lightly in agreement.  

The room was impeccably tidy. Unlike the marble-covered exterior, the room she had been led to was made of wood.  

The faint scent of timber lingered in the air.  

"This is unusual."  

"This is a room the master occasionally uses when he wishes to find peace of mind. That is why it is always kept in perfect condition for comfort."  

"Ah, I see."

The calming scent of wood filling the room indeed seemed to ease her mind.  

Karina nodded.  

"I will send a maid to assist you with your bath shortly."  

"No, it's fine. I'll warm myself up and step out later, so could you come back in about an hour?"  

"Are you sure you don't need any assistance?"  

At Fang’s confused question, Karina rolled her eyes briefly before nodding. She didn't need unnecessary help, and more importantly, she wanted to check her remaining medicine without anyone touching her belongings.  

"Understood. If you need anything, please pull the service bell."  

"Got it."  

As she nodded, Fang hesitated for a moment before stepping out of the room.

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